Ramadhan

Aku di daerah asing dimana aku tidak mengenali sesiapa tetapi mereka semua mengenali aku. Mengetahui setiap satu adanya. Melihat terus ke dasar hati aku, apa yang aku mahu, apa yang aku buat. Mendengar tiap kata hati kecil aku yang penuh dendam dan nafsu semata. Menembusi hijab yang aku lampirkan dan mengenali diri aku yang sebenar.

Aku melihat biasan wajah sendiri.

Tiba-tiba dia berkata, " Biar rupa buruk, jangan hati busuk".. terus bersepai hati aku yang busuk ni. Aku terdiam tapi dia tersenyum.. senyuman penuh makna.

Mungkin selain nak cakap hati aku busuk, dia juga nak cakap muka aku buruk. Tapi sayangnya, dia berlalu dan tinggalkan aku sendirian. Di daerah asing yang hanya menyakitkan hati.

Maka, setiap kali aku melihat biasan wajah sendiri.. kata-katanya terngiang.

Jangan hati busuk.

Argument 2

It was a tough week.

We are fighting all over again. Part of me said I'm the one at fault. I'm the one who start this argument. I'm the one should be held accountable for this argument. But other part of me said it is good to tell him what I feel. He understand what I want but he choose to ignore it, repeatedly and it become his habit. To ignore when I nags, to ignore when I get angry, to ignore when I'm sad... the keyword is ignore.

We were fighting through a phone call. and it went out of control, I start cursing, I start comparing, I start talking nonsense, I start to spill everything and it ended with him saying good bye. We start to text each other (trying to say our on opinion) and both of us said sorry but it won't stop. We didn't stop.

He said he needs time. and he didn't reply to my morning text.

I guess both of us need time. Perhaps the best way to avoid more fights is by avoiding each other and taking a little break.