31 August, 2016

#KnowMyselfBetter Part 1

So I retake the personality quiz and I'm still get the ESFP : Entertainer! Hm I did some reading on the personality notes and found not all thing as accurate. But at this boring greyish feeling morning, lemme do some quick revision about myself. I'll call this #misiKnowYourselfBetter ;)

Strength:

I'm a bold person, I don't hold back when I speak out my mind. I dont put original (traditions) on the 2nd way because I grow up in kampung apparently that influence me, badly and I think the original way of doing things is the best way I can ever have. Practical? yes, I felt and experience the world rather than coming up with some thinking. The most important skill my diploma ever gave me is becming an observant. Physician needs to keep their eye on the patient bodies to know more about the patient, the gait, posture etc. I'd start to observe people since my first year of diploma. Lastly, I'm ridiculously have excellent people skill.

Weaknesses:

I'm a sensitive person. Emotional instability and whatsoever you call it. I'm strongly emotional and vulnerable to criticism (Don't give any critics). This is always my biggest prob where I can't control my burning rage to hit somebody just because she disagree with me, but after a little time, I will cool down. Conflict - Averse (Can I take this as my strength?) A person who sometime avoid or ignore conflict entirely. Because I take conflict as a waste of time and bored. I'm a easily bored person. I don't do same things for a long time. I have nothing to say on unfocused & poor long-terms planner. Lemme just agree with that.

Wow. I don't fall in love with myself yet.

Being an extrovert doesn't mean I need to talk or want to talk every day. A simple girl like me talkative in classes but an introvert at home. I don't make any friends at my college because I think I need a personal spave during my rest time. I enjoy doing thing in silent and alone. Is it pathetic? I don't care about what other people thinks. We can't be everyone favorite innit?

Reading and trying to understand my personality ain't that hard. I just need to change my weaknesses to strength. People are unique and special because God grant us the ability to think in order to be a khalifah in this small world. Interesting is it? Interesting how we actually back to the God. again. 

17 August, 2016

Arguments 1

It's 4.06 am

Can't I just whine here? My live sucks. It really is.. The only positive thing is the semester break and I'm at home. Before this I really try to know myself better and try to love the real me. But with every layer of truth showing up in front of my eyes, I ahte myself even more. It's hard to survive in this cruel reality (ironically God show his mercy everyday) and still I can't..

I had lots of argument with my boyfriend and apparently he hate it when I ask for things or show affections and crave for something. I don't know what is wrong with that. I'm not even force him to buy all things??? I decide to pull over from that lane and I refrain myself from being too lenient and generous with him. And he keep saying "I nak everything the same as before the argument." I said "okay. let's forget about it and we'll act like nothing happened." .... That is too comfortable for him right?

It's the fifth year and I don't know him anymore. Idk if this relationship will eventually lead us to something or will just end in a matter of time.

Ah I at loss of words.

to be continued..

12 August, 2016

Examination Result Semester 3

Last semester isn't my best performance nor my best effort. I've been playin too much since God save me for 2 times. I should try to be better.. ahh no words can display what my heart feel right now. I'm nauseous. I want to vomit since I sleep with worries and mind you, I wake up at 2.30 am when I usually dont. haha Results really are scary...

Melor...
Remember that, among those 6 semesters.. this will be your worst. No more playing.

I need to stop rambling. well I get 3.41 gpa with 3.49 cgpa.. I need to be grateful. Well,i'll already expecting under 3.50.. Things are going to be alright :)

08 August, 2016

Stupid ramble

Examination result will be delivered after 12 august which means only 4 days from now. As I write this, I have no regrets at all and no complaint about my life. It's not because y live become perfect perhaps I'm giving up. My five years relationship seems so distant and we had lots of argument but being in love  is a choice. when you said yes, you need to commit and try make it work in any ways possible. I still didnt make any move and decide to go with the flow.

College result for me will be out on 8 September. Fuck you UiTM management. Dah start kelas baru nak settle hal kolej, kebodphan apakah ini. tak heran org lain bash uitm & pandang rendah dekat UiTM pun. Management entah2 makcik dengan pakcik SRP je tu yang bodo piang bab bahagi kolej ni. Pengurusan masa kelaut. Yang kelakarnya, jawapan pengurusan kolej uitm Palam tu berubah setiap kali kitorang pergi tanya. Haih harap dapatlah.

k lepas cerita pasal uitm terus takde mood. Nampak tak aku dah menyampah dengan UiTM yang tak berapa ada dalam hati ni?