Notes

Allah - there is no deity except Him, the Ever-Living, the Sustainer of [all] existence. Neither drowsiness overtakes Him nor sleep. To Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth. Who is it that can intercede with Him except by His permission? He knows what is [presently] before them and what will be after them, and they encompass not a thing of His knowledge except for what He wills. His Kursi extends over the heavens and the earth, and their preservation tires Him not. And He is the Most High, the Most Great.

2:255




P/s : Chin up and spread the smile ^^

Her

I don't think there is real people reading this crap and that's the reason why I write my real thought. I meet Mai today. She looks healthy, happy and keep joking around but I still can't forget how I break my promise to keep the secret stay as a secret. Ah dasar mulut tempayan.

I meet her today.

And I don't screw up anything. It just went well. Thank God. Now I just need a little bit of rest ^^

Lost #2

Nak merungut,
Nak mengungkit,
Tapi bila difikir balik..

Bersyukur boleh tak bodoh?

P/s : we're on the same ship but in the different cabin. U might get the emergency boat but I only get the life jacket.. Perhaps we have to stop playing victim.

Lost #1

I feel lost.
My plan is abit off track and Im not planning or willing to do a new one.
It makes me feel nervous especially when I watch other people Iive fall apart.
They are in grief but nothing can change the fact it's too late to start all over.
It feels empty.
And lost.

I wonder if I pick the wrong way.
I wonder if my plan not good enough for Him to grant.
I wonder if.. Im walking at the wrong lane.

I do talk to someone about this but both of us have no clue.

Im not sure. Ah this is pathetic.

Decision

Sometimes we think too much to choose which one have the least risk. We think and think while He make a gesture, asking us to stay closer to Him. Almost a year living in this somewhat depressing live makes me a pessimist. I've got an offer from UMK and the other one is from UiTM. It took me few days to decide and give me headache. The question of "Can I really learn this and score this" keep haunting my mind. If you know me, I'm not as bright as you. Not a target student in my primary school and my secondary school got too many clever people and left me behind. I'm in the top ten of the bottom rank. I'm still impressed with my ability to pass the add math, bio, physic and chem in SPM. It just a matter of luck.

Some people you meet in live got their own specialty but I got none. I'm bad in bahasa, had to go tutor for English, bad in science subjects and I failed my math every sem in MRSM. I forget things and no good in memorizing. I'm a loser.

I choose to go back to Puncak Alam. I guess there's no other choice. After hearing some advice and taking them.. I guess UiTM is the best thing to go for. UMK feels more home-y but the course need me to learn the physic. they said it's the SPM standard but you know, I've got C for my SPM. How to survive that... After all of those countless failure in the past, I don't want to take a risky course.

It had been almost a year of praying, countless teardrop, every gloomy day and awesome people who walk in and out. Reality really hits hard and losing in my own world.. I guess it makes me really fragile. but God heard my pray and God give me another chance.

I hope things will be okay.

p/s : I'm not continuing physiotherapy course.