Amar.
2 weeks of life.
"Maka, nikmat Tuhan kamu yang manakah hendak kamu dustakan?"
17 June, 2020
02 May, 2020
Ramadhan Kareem 💓
Dear Diary,
It's May 2020.
Feels like time is passing so quickly, in a blink, we are in the middle of the year. Being pregnant and on top of that, having a serious relationship with GERD make the Ramadhan seems quite impossible. It's a tough project with high chance of failure.
Today is the ninth day of fasting. I manage to go through with one missed mark in my calendar. I hope I can go through this month without not much difficulties. We don't really know if this is the last Ramadhan. I mean.. anything can happen.
I am in my third trimester, with 7 weeks left before delivery (assuming baby will come out on the 40th week), so I am quite emotional. I cry when my husband scold me or refuse my touch when he is in mamai state. I cry when I feel unloved. I cry when something small get in my way.... It is that bad. But it is getting better. I think I handle the emotional turbulence quite well now.
It is time to end my useless emotional thought right now. I will try to write as often as I can.
Happy Ramadhan Kareem 💖
It's May 2020.
Feels like time is passing so quickly, in a blink, we are in the middle of the year. Being pregnant and on top of that, having a serious relationship with GERD make the Ramadhan seems quite impossible. It's a tough project with high chance of failure.
Today is the ninth day of fasting. I manage to go through with one missed mark in my calendar. I hope I can go through this month without not much difficulties. We don't really know if this is the last Ramadhan. I mean.. anything can happen.
I am in my third trimester, with 7 weeks left before delivery (assuming baby will come out on the 40th week), so I am quite emotional. I cry when my husband scold me or refuse my touch when he is in mamai state. I cry when I feel unloved. I cry when something small get in my way.... It is that bad. But it is getting better. I think I handle the emotional turbulence quite well now.
I hope in my journey to become a mother, I could change my ugly habits and become a better me.Dear Diary,
It is time to end my useless emotional thought right now. I will try to write as often as I can.
Happy Ramadhan Kareem 💖
15 April, 2020
2020 : PART ONE
Hey, it's April 2020.
It has been a while since my last depressing entry 😂
2020 kick off with good news. We are officially in mum and dad-to-be club. Yeayyy!! I cry when the the stick show two blue lines. Not the happiness nor grateful tears. I was freaking out. I haven't figure out how to live my life or how to function as a decent human being. In Nov 2019, I am a jobless bum, leeching off my husband money. So I freak out... but my love was so calm. He speak to me nicely and try to make me feel better. Long story short, after all the freak out moments, I start to accept the fact that I am pregnant and need to re-plan my lifestyle.
But
On 13 December 2019, I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes Mellitus (GDM). It is the DM for pregnant woman and it just staying within pregnancy period. Usually it will go away after you deliver the baby. Dr. ask me if I think I could control my diet and maintain low sugar level or if I would like to consume pills to control the sugar level. I was confident with controlling diet method, it seems easy. You just need to eat a balance diet with lots of veges and much less sugar.
It easy right? Little kid also can do that.
However, my sweet cravings get worse.. like much worse than any ordinary days. I wanna eat cakes or desserts every days. It drive me crazy and no miracle happened, my sugar level sky rocketed like a roller coaster!! How did I know? Oh GDM mum are required to do BSP every two weeks. You literally check the sugar level at home (need to buy the device) and go to hospital for Dr. review. It hurts. I need to prick five of my fingers every time I do BSP and I'm afraid of the needles.
The first session require my husband to do it first and I was wailing for an hour. I was so afraid that GDM will stay with me even after I deliver the baby 😟
By the way, live goes on and now, I am seven months pregnant. Lots of backache, sore stomach, vaginal pain, vomits, and I peed alot. Like seriously, take a sip of water and I need to go almost 6-7 times to the loo. Some people say it is due to the sugar. Maybe. I don't do my balance diet as strict as I was at first.
I ask the Dr to check my baby gender, Dr saw something... We are assuming he is a boy. Watch out guys, I gonna have my mama boy version. I will make him say "You are the prettiest woman on earth!" hahahhaha The same way I feel about umi and my husband feel about mummy. That one is special 💓
to be continued..
It has been a while since my last depressing entry 😂
2020 kick off with good news. We are officially in mum and dad-to-be club. Yeayyy!! I cry when the the stick show two blue lines. Not the happiness nor grateful tears. I was freaking out. I haven't figure out how to live my life or how to function as a decent human being. In Nov 2019, I am a jobless bum, leeching off my husband money. So I freak out... but my love was so calm. He speak to me nicely and try to make me feel better. Long story short, after all the freak out moments, I start to accept the fact that I am pregnant and need to re-plan my lifestyle.
But
On 13 December 2019, I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes Mellitus (GDM). It is the DM for pregnant woman and it just staying within pregnancy period. Usually it will go away after you deliver the baby. Dr. ask me if I think I could control my diet and maintain low sugar level or if I would like to consume pills to control the sugar level. I was confident with controlling diet method, it seems easy. You just need to eat a balance diet with lots of veges and much less sugar.
It easy right? Little kid also can do that.
However, my sweet cravings get worse.. like much worse than any ordinary days. I wanna eat cakes or desserts every days. It drive me crazy and no miracle happened, my sugar level sky rocketed like a roller coaster!! How did I know? Oh GDM mum are required to do BSP every two weeks. You literally check the sugar level at home (need to buy the device) and go to hospital for Dr. review. It hurts. I need to prick five of my fingers every time I do BSP and I'm afraid of the needles.
The first session require my husband to do it first and I was wailing for an hour. I was so afraid that GDM will stay with me even after I deliver the baby 😟
By the way, live goes on and now, I am seven months pregnant. Lots of backache, sore stomach, vaginal pain, vomits, and I peed alot. Like seriously, take a sip of water and I need to go almost 6-7 times to the loo. Some people say it is due to the sugar. Maybe. I don't do my balance diet as strict as I was at first.
I ask the Dr to check my baby gender, Dr saw something... We are assuming he is a boy. Watch out guys, I gonna have my mama boy version. I will make him say "You are the prettiest woman on earth!" hahahhaha The same way I feel about umi and my husband feel about mummy. That one is special 💓
to be continued..
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