Diverse World 3

I had a serious thought of the future, the present and the past but I think it is okay, it was okay and it will be okay. How tough the live is, I am way more tougher. I put some of self-reward tho, do not know how I'll manage it later but it is okay. Writing at the end of week 5, this semester feels differ compared to the prev 2 semester.

Well time is ticking and people are growing. I like the diff, I like how I think I see you growing up, I like all the things happened to me. With your strong support, nothing can goes wrong unless it really meant to be wrong (I hope you get the underlying meaning). Recently going all out alone isn't really my first choice. I find that I seek for a companion. I'm longing for ya.. and I don't think it is bad. It is adorable to be abit dependent of others.

For this problematic semester, I'll try to double up my effort and try to achieve the aim. I know it's truly difficult but everything seems possible even to turn bluish sky into pinkish. It always possible.

I know this post quite disturbing and had so many different point.
But bear with it for a little bit.

:)

Time & Relationship

What do you think about time and relationship? How they can be linked to each other?

I think by knowing someone for a specific period of time, we develop knowledge about that person. her habit. her liking. her style. her voice. even her words structure. Isn't that amazing? I'm mesmerize by all that and how beautiful an old relationship can be. By old relationship I meant it as a longgggg time relationship. Take friendship as an example. I had my childhood best friend by my side until now and it has been years, 14 years to be exact and I know too much things about her by now.

But is it enough to know someone heart?

No. But we gain knowledge of his/her habits. The habits that lead to action. Any action taken can be predicted. Like you cannot whatsapp that person a short text "hm"or he/her will assume that you are being rude. The other example is you must reply to his text or he'll be emoshit, cranky just because you didn't give him a reply. See. By knowing their habits, liking, hate, and so on, we can avoid all that. All the pointless argument.

For me, 5 years is not a very long time. Of course we had come a long way and know each other better but as we still put barriers like "I have my own world other than just fucking texting you" well, I feel like an outsider. I wouldn't lie about that. Yes, we had a love relationship and I try to involve him in my live but he obviously don't want me to interfere with his live. So, the best thing to do is to fuck off. Bak kata Aliff, orang taknak jangan dok paksa. I have lack of knowledge about him. 5 years for me isn't enough to know his heart or to judge his love. Is the love real? or is it fake? Will he walk his talk? or it just an empty words?

As the relationship grow and we expand our knowledge horizon, at the same time we develop something called as trust. It's hard to gain but easy to be destroyed. too easy. But if you know me, I can trust you as soon as you say hi to me. I'm a simpleton. haha The trust grow each the hard time passes. Maybe it's hard for other people to trust the person who backstabbing them before but no kidding, I fall for it every time. People can stab me and run and come again when I heal. For my relationship, I trust in him for 100% that my mum said I'm stupid. But I believe people won't bite me as long as they fear of losing me. The one who bite, stab and run.. is the one who I don't need. That is how I plant my trust and how I put all of my trust on Yassin.

The 5 years.

I won't call a break anymore because I grow up and I believe, a little break don't heal your broken heart. If you want some time, I think it is better to put a fullstop rather than a comma. Someone who make you sad and didn't wipe your tears, is not for you.

Being in 5 years relationship, you know I'm getting old and I don't need a heartbreaker in my list. I don't want to waste my time on knowing a specific someone anymore. I pull off from that lane.

Yassin might get angry or sad but I said the truth when I feel like outsider. I know you have your own live and I finally wanna give you, a relationship that you want. For me to stay outside from your whole live except for the girlfriend part. I can build my own circle and I can re-imagine my own live rather than talking to you who have different vision of future.

The time won't stop but I think both of us make wise decision for our 5 years relay. It's quite stable.

You said you had a limit.
And so do I.
You said something hurtful.
And I believe, I didn't throw it back to you yet.

And I want you to know that I won't. I'll keep it to myself.


My conclusion is it is good for us to know each other for a long time as we know each other more. I love you as far as 5 years can reach of and back :)

Diverse World 2

I got DL again for the previous semester but that doesn't makes me feel confident. Besides, my classmates all get DL with higher CGPA compared to me. I think there is alot of risks for this sem since I'm trying to do something over my limits but I hope things will end smoothly. We all prays for a better end, don't we?

I have alot to rant on but I'll keep this post as simple as possible.

Till the next time then.