Week 13

Kadang-kadang aku rasa aku tipu diri sendiri 

Bila aku rasa sesuatu subjek tu senang tapi dalam final aku tak mampu jawab. 

Bila aku sebenarnya dah besar tapi masih berfikiran macam budak-budak.

Bila aku fikir lari akan selesaikan semua masalah.

Bila aku sedih terkenangkan benda yang lepas sedangkan perjalanan hidup aku tak sesusah orang lain.

Bila bae kata aku macam-macam sedangkan aku rasa aku dah laksanakan tugas aku dengan baik.

Aku rasa tertipu dengan sikap hipokrit aku.

Mungkin bukan orang lain yang bermasalah, tapi aku. cuma aku.

Rindu

there are two specific songs that make me feels like I'm in Ramadhan :

1. Lukisan Alam
2. Fatamorgana

One ritual that makes me feel like I'm in Eidul Fitr:

Otp while stargazing

You know how lonely it is when you only have your own family and end up doing nothing in malam raya. It hv been like that for years since Mek death. It's okay, I like my night like that. lol,

I guess some little things brought up too many memories. 

Semester One.

Sometime it feels like I've been here for ages but sometime it seems like time flies too fast. Wrapping up the whole sem into one word : unpredictable. My classmates are awesome, like hey they graduate with first class ya know and here I am with my 2.6 CGPA. Its really makes me feel like a fool since they know everything and I'm abit loading in understanding all of those subjects. After one sem of studying health administration, I guess teachers word that "you have to understand in order to answer the question" and "studying isn't only for the sake of examination" cannot be applied when you choose administration as your path. Most of the subjects need you to memorize like 99% of 'em. Some of the lecturer will deducts your mark for creating your own sentences. And they say they want to produce an innovative, critical thinker and creative student. That's hilarious as fuck. ops. 

After struggling for months, I finally found an effective way to help me in memorizing. 

• Read the same topic, repeatedly, for about 10 times. And I swear you'll remember them as smooth as you remember your own bios.

• Early revision could save you from failure. 

• Aim high. There is this one person  who tell me, "trust me. If you aim to get an A+, you will get at least A-" Of course it wouldn't make any difference if you had no effort.

and there are so many ways out there that you can try and see if it works well with you. I only have 2 more paper to go and I'll go back to Kelantan for 2 months since we're having our sem break after eid.

Hm. I wish people can accept me the way I am, because I'm too far from perfection. Perhaps thing will get better when we know and study more about each other. I wish I can forget all my responsibilities so that I can live without feeling guilty toward others..

It's tiring. To live like this.

I miss you

I keep seeing you in my dream
and it feels real.
Every time I wake up and try to reach you,
My heart shattered into pieces when it's only a dream.

It's hard when I received something but I have to return in back.
It's hard to watch you walk away.

It feels hurt eventho I know it's only for some period of time before we ended up together.

I don't know why but I miss your warm body,
your soft touch,'
your bright eyes..

perhaps I'm being like this because I'm longing for you...

It's okay, It's love.